New Eyes- God's Direction Part I

I’d been literally praying multiple times a day since last Oct. for God’s direction. Although I didn’t doubt for a minute that God sent me here, I felt like I was floundering at times. Even though I was busy and I was accomplishing the projects I was assigned, I felt like I wasn’t quite fitting in here- somewhat lost and purposeless- round peg in a square hole- passion less. I’d wondered if I was doing what God wanted me to do. Had I missed the mark? And now, with my one year mark soon at hand, I felt more pressured and determined to seek out God. In the midst of this, additional trying and stressful situations were pressing in on me, even more than usual. I’d become quite discouraged, and for the first time in nearly a year, I began to seriously consider leaving in April when my year’s term was comleted.

I wasn’t alone with my concerns. The other missionaries had become serious prayer partners with me, and I had support back home from my family and mentors at church.

One night, Wendy (one of the missionaries here), came to check on me since she had noted my downcast eyes. We talked for a long time, and at the end we had a time of prayer. Not one of those prayers that are kind of fake nor the kind where you say essentially the same sort of things you usually say. No, this prayer came from our gut…it was very real and sincere. In the midst of Wendy’s prayer she prayed that God would give me “new eyes”. I would imagine that the phrase “new eyes” isn’t significant to you, nor was it particularly significant to Wendy…but to me it was HUGELY significant. You see, over the last few years I’d prayed those same words on several occasions. For example, when I was nearly in a panic to find my car keys, or my glasses, or X, Y, Z….I’d found that if I’d stop and sincerely ask God to please give me “new eyes” to find whatever was lost, then He came through. So when Wendy prayed for me to have “new eyes”, it struck me like a tree had fallen on me. What had I lost? Me! I was lost. I had lost my way! Eureka! That was it! I knew from then on that my prayers would be focused on asking God to give me “new eyes”….His eyes.