Called By Name - God's Direction part V

The following Saturday (in sequence from my previous blog) all of us missionaries were at a soccer game to cheer on our Shalom Home team. Normally, it’s Bobby’s responsibility to drive to and from Oasis on Tues, Thurs, and Sat. But today it just made more sense for me to do it. So I left the game, returned to the Home, and loaded up the food, chairs, and kids into the red pick-up truck. Glenys, a 2 wk visitor from Australia, also joined us. Per usual, I drove down the dusty dirt road, honking my horn to signal that it’s time for our service. Once we arrived, unloaded the food, chairs, etc into the concrete block building, then most of went to walk our traditional path around the neighborhood to personally knock on doors and invite people to come to our service. I had not attended an Oasis service since before Christmas. Anyhow, at the end of Stinky Stream Lane (or at least that’s what this foot path ought to be called), 10 yr old Alex extended an invitation to a mom for her and her kids to come to our service. She seemingly declined, but as we turned and started to head back up the foot trail, the mom called out in Spanish “Sister Debra!” Would you actually believe I turned around and symbolically motioned, Who? Me? (like there’s anyone else in our small group named Debra!) I was so surprised that she even knew my name!!! Over and over for the next day or two I replayed the fact that she called me by name. There’s something very special about calling a person by name. Anyhow, before I digress more…. She asked if I would take her young son, about 4 years old, with me to church. I asked if she’d be coming later herself and she said yes. Wow, she trusted me to walk off with her young son! I asked his name and as best as I could understand, I think the first of his 5 part name was Franklin. So it was that I walked back down Stinky Stream Lane and around the rest of our traditional path, hand in hand with a dirty, scrawny, rumpled Franklin. And I don’t think I could’ve been happier. My story for the day could’ve ended here and I’d have been perfectly content….but there’s more.

Our Oasis service started with prayer and a lot of kid songs followed by a Bible story read by one of our staff and then a closing prayer and a blessing over the food- all per the usual. Then I helped dish out food for everyone as they waited patiently in line. When Franklin’s mom got to the front of the line, she asked me if I’d come pray with her and her son. Once again, I internally thought, Who? Me? Now? I suggested that she and her son eat their food while it was still a bit warm and when I’d finish dishing out food, I’d go pray with her. Truth is, my head was spinning and I was buying some time to think about this tremendous opportunity. I’ve never been personally asked to pray with/for a Salvadoran. I felt so humbled and blessed to have the opportunity! To be honest, I could hardly think straight. When the food was all given out I glanced over the room to find her, and didn’t need to look far since she was keeping an eye on me and flagging me down. I grabbed Glenys and asked if she’d like to join us. Franklin’s mom explained, as best as I could understand, that Franklin had been ill this past week, and is better now, but she was asking for me to pray for Franklin and her family. I told her I’d prefer to pray in English, and asked that she would simultaneously pray to God in Spanish. I assured her that God would hear and understand us both. So I sat Franklin up on a small wooden table to bring him up to our height- put an arm around him, as did his mom, and we prayed. Everyone once in awhile I’d pray a bit in Spanish just so mom would have some idea of who or what I was praying about at the moment. The prayer wasn’t long by Salvadoran standards, but for me it was simple, sincere, and amazing. When I said Amen, I looked up and found that her head was on Glenys' shoulder, tears on her cheeks. Then she came toward me and we hugged for a long moment and she continued to cry. I felt strongly led to ask her if she was a Christian….did she know Jesus Christ as her Savior…and did she have a relationship with Him? She said yes, and my spirit knew it was true. She said the same about Franklin and the rest of her family. I rarely ask such bold personal questions, and maybe I should do so more often, but this time I knew in my spirit that I had to ask. Franklin’s mom then asked me to come visit her and her family in her home. She said she wanted to talk and ask questions. She wanted me to see her “economic status”, and she wanted me to check on Franklin’s health and look into other health concerns. (Ah, remember the sudden thoughts about Oasis health screening two blogs ago?) I made it very clear to her that I would not be bringing money nor did I have money to loan or give to her. Additionally I told her that I was a volunteer, and received no money for the work I do; and actually pay money to stay and do what I do. She said she understood but still strongly urged me to come. I told her I had to gain permission from Don Benner, but I thought he would approve and I’d be allowed to come visit.

My head reeled as I drove back to the Home and as I sat at my kitchen table, trying to take it all in. I realized that the Lord was putting together the pieces before my eyes. Months ago my heart started a special beat for the poor of Oasis. Now, within one week, the Lord has given me “new eyes” for the Strawn Boys and a vision for health care in Oasis (that originated as a sudden late evening thought a week ago) through a lady who called me by name, entrusted to son to me, and courageously prayed to God with me. And I’m suddenly no longer feeling like a purposeless, passion less, person who lost their way. I’m a child of God Almighty that’s being shown, step by step, His direction. WOW!

It's a New Day! - God's Direction part IV

It was three Saturday nights ago, less than 24hr from when I’d had those strange ideas about medical screenings (see the previous blog entry). It was a rare evening where I didn’t have any responsibilities, and I could finally catch up on emails and my blog. And then I thought, “I could go and show a DVD movie to the Strawn Boys.” For some reason, I acted on that thought w/o giving it too much thought. I did however, stop long enough to realize that neither I (nor anyone else as far I could remember) had ever shown a movie in Strawn House before and I realized that I may be setting myself up for a wild night since Strawn House has 13 super high energy boys between the ages of 5-11. Luckily, my cousin Amanda had loaned me several kids movies on DVD that were in both English and Spanish. I pulled out “The Land before Time, part II” (I didn’t have part I) and headed toward Strawn.

All the kids here LOVE to watch DVDs more than just about anything else. So the boys were thrilled at the chance to see a movie….and even better yet, a movie all their own, not shared with a bunch of others in the cafeteria as usual. They didn’t seem to care that they would all have to sit on the floor and watch the movie from my 17” computer. And they weren’t even acting wild. A couple of minutes into the movie, a couple of the smaller ones were restless because they couldn’t see the movie over the bigger boys. I motioned for them to come sit on my lap. I was on a white plastic chair…one of those really cheap Wal-Mart kind that are used on lots of outdoor patios. They’re very very common here. Anyhow, the 2 boys settled in, one on each of my knees.

Part way thru the movie, I began to pray for the boys on my lap, putting my hand softly on their heads. Then, as I lovingly rubbed/scratched their backs, I intentionally prayed for each individual boy on the floor. Suddenly another one of “those” thoughts occurred to me. “I’d do anything to stay here and love on these boys.” I immediately wondered to myself, “Where in the world did that come from?” And even thought….Deb, you’re having a psychotic break down- You must be crazy! Yet, there was something in my heart that new it was true. The thought was so sure and clear. My heart knew I’d just received my “new eyes” from God. I sat there in utter amazement at the new passion that was seemingly and suddenly birthed within me for these boys. Something that wasn’t there just 1.5hr earlier. When the movie was over and I walked back to my apartment, I felt like my heart would burst with happiness and I felt like I could jump up and down. Back at my apartment I got on my knees and with tears flowing from my heart, I thanked God for His faithfulness to me and His direction. I knew he was calling me to stay here, at least for now. Unlike my usual self, I decided to sit, ponder, and enjoy this new passion. I kept it before God day and night. It was two days before I would even allow myself to say the thought out loud, and then very slowly to those closest to me here.

How about that? New eyes, new passion, new direction. Isn’t God good?

Now, just before I close this entry, I should tell you, that God also spoke some other directions into my heart. He spoke to me about being a better servant, about me being more faithful, and a couple of other things. I committed to God to make these changes, and wrote “it’s a New Day” on my calendar.

It was God - God's Direction part III

On Thursday, Valentines Day, Glenys arrived. Glenys is from Australia and was assigned to be in my apartment with me for her 2 weeks visit. I look forward to writing more about Glenys and her stay in the near future, but I don’t want to get too off the track right now. So, it just so happens that I was sitting near Britney when she asked Don for Glenys’ work assignment (which is coordinated by Britney). Among other things, Don mused that perhaps there were some health needs within the Oasis community…although she probably wouldn’t have enough time or language skills to be of much help at this time. I could hardly believe my ears! I thought Britney and I would fall off our chairs. We dared not look at each other, but we both stated our strong agreement with Don’s recommendation. I considered blurting out right then and there that I wanted to do this…but I had a big project sitting on my desk, and I really didn’t feel the timing was right. I decided to wait and pray for the Lord’s timing on this.

I had hoped and believed that Don would see the value of this line of work, but now I knew it for sure, and more than ever I felt like the “all of a sudden thought” I wrote about in my last blog was certainly from God. I wasn’t sure of when and how it would come together, but I did know for sure that He would put the plan together.

Was that God? - God's Direction part II

A couple of nights after Wendy prayed for “new eyes” (see the previous blog entry), I was tired and getting ready for bed. Suddenly, as if straight out of the night sky, a weird thought came to my mind. It was about me doing medical screenings at the Oasis community (a poor neighboring community where we do evangelism and dish out a meal three times a week). When I say “medical screening”, I mean thing such as taking people’s blood pressure or doing a finger stick to see if a person’s glucose (sugar) is high. I was thinking that maybe I could go with the Oasis team once a month or so and check blood pressures or whatever, and maybe do some simple teaching. The ideas continued to readily flow. Perhaps I could come up with some simple Spanish teachings about blood pressure and other common conditions. Or maybe I could find and show a simple Spanish DVD about blood pressure that could be watched as the folks wait in line for me to take their blood pressure. (These are readily available at home, I just don’t know where to find it here.) I thought it was strange for these sorts of very clear ideas to suddenly occur just as I was preparing for bed. And I wondered if I’d be allowed to add this new project among my current projects and responsibilities looming large on my desk.

“Was that God?” I thought to myself. Are these ideas from Him or me? I got on my knees and asked God to tell me if these ideas were from Him. I didn’t get an answer, but I felt a strange combination of peace, wonder and a bit of excitement of these new thoughts. Then, finally, I went to bed.

New Eyes- God's Direction Part I

I’d been literally praying multiple times a day since last Oct. for God’s direction. Although I didn’t doubt for a minute that God sent me here, I felt like I was floundering at times. Even though I was busy and I was accomplishing the projects I was assigned, I felt like I wasn’t quite fitting in here- somewhat lost and purposeless- round peg in a square hole- passion less. I’d wondered if I was doing what God wanted me to do. Had I missed the mark? And now, with my one year mark soon at hand, I felt more pressured and determined to seek out God. In the midst of this, additional trying and stressful situations were pressing in on me, even more than usual. I’d become quite discouraged, and for the first time in nearly a year, I began to seriously consider leaving in April when my year’s term was comleted.

I wasn’t alone with my concerns. The other missionaries had become serious prayer partners with me, and I had support back home from my family and mentors at church.

One night, Wendy (one of the missionaries here), came to check on me since she had noted my downcast eyes. We talked for a long time, and at the end we had a time of prayer. Not one of those prayers that are kind of fake nor the kind where you say essentially the same sort of things you usually say. No, this prayer came from our gut…it was very real and sincere. In the midst of Wendy’s prayer she prayed that God would give me “new eyes”. I would imagine that the phrase “new eyes” isn’t significant to you, nor was it particularly significant to Wendy…but to me it was HUGELY significant. You see, over the last few years I’d prayed those same words on several occasions. For example, when I was nearly in a panic to find my car keys, or my glasses, or X, Y, Z….I’d found that if I’d stop and sincerely ask God to please give me “new eyes” to find whatever was lost, then He came through. So when Wendy prayed for me to have “new eyes”, it struck me like a tree had fallen on me. What had I lost? Me! I was lost. I had lost my way! Eureka! That was it! I knew from then on that my prayers would be focused on asking God to give me “new eyes”….His eyes.

Chuch Today

On Sunday mornings, all of us missionaries go to church in the city since we don't have our church service on campus until 4:30pm. (However the kids have Sunday School in the AM). There's one church that we feel we're obligated to attend every once in awhile because it helps support the Home. It's a nice church, but we prefer another church that's very warm, friendly, and casual.

As usual, the service started at 9am, but unlike usual, the lady (who sits up front beside a table with a projector that shows the words onto a screen) wasn't there. Nor was the table or screen in place like usual. I nudged Britney and said "Oh man...this is going to be a long service if we don't have words." You see, the singing/worship service is always one hour long, followed by the rest of the service which is 1.5 to 2 hr long. One of the main things we like about this church is the singing...but put yourself if our shoes. If you didn't have words to the songs....not to mention that they're in a different language...well, you've got the picture. So I spent the first 10 min or so thinking about going to ask someone why there were no words (and really meaning "and would you please go do something about it now?!) Then I decided that they were probably quite aware there were no words, and culturally, I may be out of place by asking such a question. And more than that, I told myself to "get over it!" Isn't worship more than just singing words? Well, once I got my head on straight and my heart attitude in the right direction, I had an exceptional time of worship. I took delight in watcing others as they sincerely worshipped the One true God. Their faces seemed to glow. I watched as people lifted their arms in sincere praise to God. I myself began to worship Him in the midst of the singing. It really was an incredible experience.

I don't know about you, but every once in awhile I find that the Holy presence of God Almighty is almost tangible and palpable. The air is almost electric. There's a special sense. It's hard to describe, but you know what I'm talking about if you've experienced it. And this was definatley one of those Sundays. Even though I didn't have a clue as to what the pastor (a guest speaker) was saying, he directed us to some really powerful verses in the Bible. Verses that seemed to really fit what I've been struggling with this week. It wasn't hard to fill the rest of the service with reading other scriptures here and there.

When the service was over, some lady I'd never seen before rushed over to Britney and started to talk to her quite intently. Next thing I knew, they moved outside to continue their conversation. When I passed by Britney, she seemed to be OK but consumed by this lady. When Britney met us at the car, she said, "You're not going to believe this!" She went on to explain that she and Bobby had briefly met this lady once before at church. Then today, she ran across Britney in the restroom at church (that actaully has toilot paper!), and asked Britney if she can talk to her after church about her need "for social hours" (whatever that means.) Bottom line is that she explained that she'd just begun her 4th year into college (about 30 years old) as an English major. She has to put in a certain number of hours teaching Spanish to English speakers. She wants to teach us for free...for 2 years! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT! Now tell me....AINT GOD GOOD?! She said she'd even like to translate for classes or meetings that we need. Goodness! So, Brit is going to call her this week, and then her school director is going to call Britney and tell her the details and see exactly what we'd be getting into. But man , to me this sound like God coming thru for us again! I guess what you don't know is that just yesterday, I called our tutor and told her that we're sorry we had not resumed our lessons. We have had some financial concerns that had kept, and continue to keep us from being able to put money toward tutoring. She was very understanding. And obviously, so is God.

There are fish in the pool!

Starting in Jan, we've started a whole bunch of activites for the kids. I'm only gonna talk about one of them now. The last Sat of every month, we have a whole Home outing (yep, even the babies!) Last month while most of you were shivering cold, we all loaded (squished would be more like it) onto a school bus and we headed off for Ichamichen (makes me want to itch just by looking at the word!) It's an Indian name. Ichamichen is a nice park that has several "pools. " Do any of you remember the TV show, Beverly Hillbillies? Well, they had a concrete pond. These "pools" were actually somewhat rundown concrete ponds...including small nibbling fish. There were very shallow wading pools, middle depth pools, and adult areas. There was even a curling and twisting water slide for those who gathered their courage. The teenagers had a blast with the slide and insisted that we do this with them over and over and over. Our cook, Alma, who's built like me and maybe even a little more rotund, finally was convinced to go down the slide. What we didn't know is that just about 15ft short of the end, she got stuck. There was very little water to help you slide well, and she was wearing denim. You guessed it, around the corner came a big group of girls, sitting one in front of the other like a train. I watched the whole scene unveil, and it was hysterical. The train came to a halt, much like dominoes falling on one another. But at least it created enough umph to get Alma going again, and they all followed behind her, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop plop into the water one after the other. They all came up laughing, even Alma. I think the only time the kids sat still was for a picnic style lunch.

Speaking of the slide, I've got to tell you the best part of my day. I'd overheard the younger boys (whom I adore) say they were scared of the water slide. And understandably so! After all it was pretty big, fairly tall, and the water was deep when you dropped off the end of the slide. Much to my surprsie, toward the end of the day, one young tyke named Diego asked if I'd take him on the slide. Wow! I was honored that he'd trust me so much! After getting permission, we went up the stairs to the slide. I sat him on my lap and held onto him tightly. Oh my gosh...you should've heard him squeel with delight as we zipped around the corners. He squeeled all the way down. And when we plopped into the water at the end, he didn't panic. I just held him tightly until we popped up on top of the water, and once he shook the water off, he was grinning from ear to ear. Apparently, the other boys were watching. 2 other young boys approached me and asked me to take them on the slide. One on one knee, the other on the other knee. Double the squeeles all the way down! So much fun! And I also was able to convince some of the young girls to jump off the side of the pool into my arms, much like my dad did for me when I was a little kid. As a kid, I just knew it was fun. I didn't realize back then that it was also about trust. But I sure know it now, and feel so humbled to know that I'm gaining their trust.

We left around 4pm, and most of the heads were nodding off asleep in the bus within 30 min. To our great pleasure and surprise, 2 of our Board of Directors (who had been in meetings earlier that day) were able to join us near the end of our fun day and then treated us to dinner in Olaquilta for papusas. We ate 300 papusas! (Which is a very inexpensive traditional stuffed tortilla dish)! It really was a blast, and the kids are still talking about the day.

2 by 2, and into the ark!

Dinner is at 5:30pm, and we're usually out of the dining room 45-60 min later. They have free time until 7pm, except on weekends where it's extended a bit longer.

On one weekend evening not long ago, just on a whim, I decided to go read my one and only Spanish storybook to some kids. I hadn't read it to them since last October. It's in Spanish, and on my level....beginners. It's about an elephant that doesn't like the rain, and is asked to help build an arc. He decided anthing is better than getting wet, so he helps Noah.

My first stop was with the 4-7 yr old girls in Griffin House. We all sat on the bottom part of a very tiny metal bunk bed, and I read them the story. At the end of the story, I got a brainstorm. I had them line up in their room, the way the animals did....2 by 2. I had them hold hands and they followed me as we made circles are the room. "Oh no, it's beginning to rain!" I shouted, "Get in the ark!", as I pointed back to the bottom bunk. They squeeled with delight and jumped into the make believe ark. "Who closed the door?" I asked (to see if they paid attention to the story). "Dios!" they declared (which is God in English). So, I pretended to close the door. Then I started banging on the top bunk, telling them that it was raining a lot. They squeeled even louder in glee. Then the rain slowed down, then stopped, and they were allowed out ....2 by 2 of course. Then they said, "Let's do it again!" So we did.

Then I repeated this pattern with the 4-7 yr old Griffin House boys. They had as much fun as the girls.

Then I went down to the Strawn House which houses a bunch of middle school boys. Some of them dropped out of the dodge ball game long enough to listen to the story. Then I joined them in a couple of games of dodge ball. Man, I don't move and swerve as well as I used to. But I had a ton of fun that night and look forward to doing it again in the near future.

Trumpet lessons

Imagine the sound of a very loud squaking goose along with an equally loud car crash, and that will bring you close to thinking about how bad I sound on trumpet right now. I haven't played the trumpet seriously since 19......something. To be honest, I think it's been almost 20 years (since that's when I graduated from college in 1988...yikes!)

Anyhow, a guy named Tom came with a team of volunteers here in December to help get everything really for Christmas. Tom is a professional musician, and the trumpet is favorite instrument....as evidenced by his trumpet being his carry on. He was here, there, and everywhere tooting his horn. He even started teaching a couple of the middle school aged boys how to play it. Unfortunately, he caught on from my questions and comments about his trumpet, that I too know how to play. And he found out that the Benners had 2 donated student level trumpets in fair condition in their house. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

By the time Tom left, he had kids begging me to promise that I would continue trumpet lessons with them when I returned from my Christmas break. So...let the noise begin.

I was resistant to bringing my trumpet back here with me, but I did bring my mouthpiece and my mute (didn't want anyone to here just how bad I am when I practice occasionally in my apartment). And a couple of weeks ago, I began taking the 2 trumpets out to the kids for about 1 hr at a time, twice a week, for them to learn how to make a sound thru the trumpet. Starting next week, I'm hoping to begin somewhat formal classes (one on one) twice a week . MondaysI'll have from 4:14-5:15pm (after their homework is done) devoted to teaching young gals (15 min each). And likewise for 4 young guys on Fridays. I have no idea what I'm doing or how to go about doing it...but I'll do whatever I can. It's a good experience for them, and it'll hopefully end up being fun for us both. And who knows....the Lord may have some seeds of musical talent in these kids. I know I'm grateful for the opportunity that I had to learn (and love) music, so I'll do what I can to pass on the opportunity.

Tom is in the top picture, and 2 of my prized monkeys....uh...I mean students....are in the other picture. I'll try to get a pic of me giving lessons with the kids on a future blog entry, but right now I don't have any pictures of this.

My dog (kind of)....Rex

Back in Oct or Nov I kind of adopted a dog. The concrete security wall that surrounds my apartment has a cut out window with steel bars. One day a street dog, a German Shepherd, got up on his hind legs so that he could see in the "window", then he rested his chin on the concrete "window sill", cocked his head a little to the side, and his eyes seemed to say "Are you friendly? I need soome food please."

Now I should make you aware that I've never been fond of dogs. And I never had a pet of my own until I was almost 30 years old. So, a dog getting through to my hard heart is a rarity. But there was something about him....maybe I identified with him a little re: looking for friends in new places. Anyhow, I started to collect dog scraps from all the kids after our meals. The kids must eat everything on their plate, so there's no much in the way of scraps except when we have chicken or similar. And I know chicken bones are recommended for dogs, but if I don't give him the bones myself, he's just going to join the other dogs as they pull them out of our big metal trash dumpster. So everynight I tried to give him something to eat. I put out a chicken bone, and he gently takes it from my hande. He'd eat almost anything (except peanut butter). Given the choice btw a plain, dry, flat tortilla verses a tortilla that has a small smear of peanut butter on it, I think he'd rather bury the peanut butter tortilla than to eat it. It's amazing how I looked forward to him every evening, even though I knew we'd probably never see other than through the window. And I never saw him during the day, but he learned my schedule, and he was near my window around 6pm every night patiently waiting for me.

Crazily, I kind of worried about him when I went home for Christmas, being concerned that maybe I'd caused him to loose out on his turf where he dined before he met me. And sure enough, when I returned back here, I didn't see him for the first few days, but then he returned. I was so glad to see him that I decided to give him a name....Rex. One child here asked if he comes to his name. I said said....but I think he'd come even if I called him Maria. I can't explain it, but he brings me a strange sense of comfort and enjoy him as a part of my daily life.