Estela - A hard reality

I'd like for you to meet Estela. She's 16 and in my eyes she's absolutely beautiful. She's somewhat quiet, prefers one-on-one, and will avoid crowds whenever possible. When given a job, you can be sure she'll do her best. Even when given tough and even gross jobs, she figures that talking about won't change the job, so she just gets the job done. She loves the outdoors, being with the really young tykes, and sports. She's a tomboy thru and thru. She doesn't like school and feels like she doesn't fit in. She's only in middle school, though I'm not certain which grade. She speaks English well and can do my math flash cards better than most. She usually makes friends easily with small groups or individuals that visit. (See photo)

Last Christmas I decided to try to get to know her better. We worked together on preparing and sending out cards to over 250 sponsors. That's when I found out that she doesn't like to have background noise (or for that matter, any noise) or even Christmas music playing when she's trying to concentrate. I can relate because I'm the same way. But think about it, when you live in a fairly small room of bunk beds with 13 other teenagers and in a Home with 63 others, and sit in a class with way too many others and lots of chaos...well, there's not much quietness that would allow her to think clearly. That might explain at least in part as to why Estela has performed poorly in school, and as of this year was put into an apprenticeship at a bakery instead of going to school.

Over the last couple of months we've spent a fair amount of time shooting hoops (basketball) and just sitting and talking. One day recently, I took the opportunity to wash dishes with her. (I'm sure my mom will never believe that I offered to wash dishes :) Before I go on, you've got to picture this dish scene. Outside of the building that houses the kitchen and dining room is a row of 4 deep concrete sinks. My grandma's house had this kind of sink. It's called a "pila" here. There's no hot water in the kitchen or at these sinks. Dishes are washed with a worn out sponge and/or green scrubby thing that has been on the ground and played with by the umpteen cats we have around. And I should tell you that cleaning pots, pans, and plastic dishes all covered in grease is no fun with no warm water and some sort of paste-like dish detergent. OK....back to Estela. Britney had once said that she felt like dish washing time was a great time for getting to know a kid. So, I washed dishes with Estela. What I learned has made a huge difference in my life and how I understand these kids.

Estela and all her other siblings (4 older brothers) were bought to our Home when she was 5 years old. She doesn't remember the day. She was bought here because her father said her mother was dead. She doesn't remember that day either. Neither she nor any of her brothers know why/how their mom died. They don't know where their dad is, but have heard he's still alive. Estela went on to tell me that she misses being with her brothers which have all grown and left the Home. When she gets a chance she goes to see her 2 brothers that live together, along with her brothers "wife", and their 2 children (one just born in 2008). She really enjoys her job and enjoys using her hands and learning how to make various pastries and cakes. She's glad to not be in school. Her self confidence is growing as she sees that she's able to do well at something....finally. When I ask her what she wants to do when she grows up, she says she wants to work in a bakery. But here's the rub...When I asked what she dreamed of doing when she was a little girl. She just shrugged her shoulders. She said she didn't have any dreams.

Now maybe I'm the one who's in left field, but I can't imagine a kid not having any dreams. You know...wanting to be an astronaut or firefighter or nurse/doctor, or president, or teacher, etc. When I was a kid and my parents told me that I could be and do anything I wanted when I grew up, I believed them with all my heart. To this very day anything related to NASA still causes my heart to stir. And I remember dreams about being a music director of an orchestra. But to have a childhood w/o dreams...well, it's just hard for me to fathom. Yet, the more time I spend here, the more I find stories very similar to that of Estella. They can't ever remember not living here, and they often don't have any dreams.

Unlike most of my blog entries, this one doesn't have a nice tied up ending. It just ends. I told you about Estela because I wanted you to oin me as we have a chance to get a glimpse of the heart of one of these kids.

My Birthday & God's plans

I’ve been fortunate in that birthdays have always been celebrated in my family. In my adult years I’ve often celebrated my birthday with friends by going somewhere together or eating together (often Mexican or a steak place), and I’ve also celebrated with co-workers. And I really look forward to the weekend after my birthday when I join my family to enjoy a home cooked meal made by mom. I knew this year would different, but I didn’t have any idea of just how much God cared about little things like a birthday.

To start with, more than a year ago, a husband and wife (Bonnie & Charles Eberle) that I barely knew from my home church in Richmond told me that they would be in Belize in March of 2008 and offered to stop by and visit me on their way home. Shucks, I figured that visitors would always be a treat, even if I didn’t know them. Sure enough, as time got closer, the arrangements were made and Bonnie and Charles arrived here on March 1st, the weekend before my birthday. On March 2nd Britney, Bobby and I took them sightseeing around El Salvador. And guess what? The place we went for lunch had fantastic steaks. I’m not talking about a good steak…I’m talking about a steak that awakens all of your senses and makes every morsel like a dream come true. I love a good steak and I’d never had a steak in this country that didn’t resemble shoe leather…but then again, I hadn’t gone to a nice restaurant. So, being quite unaware, the Ederle’s provided me with an early birthday dinner at a steak restaurant…very similar to what I would’ve enjoyed with friends at home on my birthday.

Then, on the day of my birthday, Sat March 8th, I was invited to a special birthday breakfast prepared by the other missionaries. We had biscuits and gravy, eggs, bacon, rolls, OJ and a birthday cake later that evening. Whew! (See photo) And they gave me amazing gifts that showed their creativity and love, yet without spending much money. This included a beautiful hand made wooden frame for a print I’d purchased in Guatemala. Bobby is a carpenter by trade.

As if that wasn’t enough, the following day, Sunday, we were invited to a friend’s house to have a cookout after church. (This is the guy and his family that attend our church and he works at the US Embassy….not The Ambassador as I had accidentally misspoken in an early blog re: our Thanksgiving get-together.) They Zehrs had no idea it was my birthday weekend. We had chicken, burgers, and sausages on the grill and potato salad and all the fixins…and another cake.

The following day I found that my desk in the office was decorated with banners and balloons….and another cake.

So…are your getting the picture with me? I was treated to a great steak dinner with my friends the weekend before my birthday (which is exactly what I would’ve done at home). I celebrated with close friends on the day of my birthday (which I probably would’ve done). I celebrated with my co-workers in the office (which is usually done). And true to my tradition, I celebrated with my new extended family on the Sunday after my birthday.

I was blown away by all of this, and I found myself thinking, “Now why would God go through all of this just for an insignificant 42nd birthday?” Just because He can, I decided. And because I believe He loves me more than I’ll ever be able to fathom, and at times He likes to lavish His love on us.

This was defiantly a birthday to remember!

More About Franklin

Do you remember Stinky Stream Lane and the tussled looking kid named Franklin that I was “called” to pray for? Well, 2 weeks after I prayed for Franklin, I had the opportunity to go back into the Oasis community. (The Oasis program is under Bobby’s supervision, and my office responsibilities don’t often allow me to freedom to go to Oasis as much as I’d like…..or at least not yet.) When I got to the end of Stinky Stream Lane, Franklin saw me and came bounding down his dirt slope yard and jumped in my arms. I swung him around and hugged him. His sister was soon at his heels. Both kids and their mom joined me hand-in-hand as we continued to go door-to-door to invite people to come to our program. To be honest, it was only then that I thought to ask about how Franklin was doing (since we’d prayed about a health issue 2 weeks earlier….although I couldn’t make out exactly what the mom was telling me that I was praying for). She said…. (and I’m not joking)….that he had not been sick at all since the day we prayed for him!!!! NOW HOW ABOUT THAT!!! WOW….WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE!!!! Well then I was the one who was ready to do cartwheels and start jumping up and down….well, maybe not cartwheels, but I was ready to jump around! Isn’t that cool! Just had to tell ya!

Glenys - My Australian Friend

You know, sometimes it’s not what you’re told, but how you’re told.
I was told that a lady from Australia was coming for 2 weeks, and she was going to stay with me. I was less than happy about this information, but I figured a lot could happen in the next few weeks, and maybe things would change. Besides, the regular visitor rooms were all empty, and no visitor in the past has been put in a full-time missionary’s home. As weeks passed I struggled with whether I should go to the administration about this. I struggled with this issue in prayer too. In the end, somehow I felt like maybe God wanted this foreign lady in my house. Maybe He was going to teach me something through her or vice verse, or perhaps we’d become friends.

All of the above happened. Glenys (about 10 yr older then me) and I connected on day one. We were amazed at how many ways our lives were similar. We talked late into the night on many nights. We laughed. We made fun of each others food. We shared openly with other about what we felt like we hearing from God. We both had the opportunity to pray with Franklin and his mom (per the previous blog entry) at Oasis. We even had one heck of a pillow fight one night, and I laughed harder than I’ve laughed in a long time.

I hope I get to see her again sometime before we get to heaven. She left at the end of Feb. and is considering coming here full time at some point. There’s so much I could say about her. But I guess the best thing is to say that is was a friendship and blessing created by God.

Called By Name - God's Direction part V

The following Saturday (in sequence from my previous blog) all of us missionaries were at a soccer game to cheer on our Shalom Home team. Normally, it’s Bobby’s responsibility to drive to and from Oasis on Tues, Thurs, and Sat. But today it just made more sense for me to do it. So I left the game, returned to the Home, and loaded up the food, chairs, and kids into the red pick-up truck. Glenys, a 2 wk visitor from Australia, also joined us. Per usual, I drove down the dusty dirt road, honking my horn to signal that it’s time for our service. Once we arrived, unloaded the food, chairs, etc into the concrete block building, then most of went to walk our traditional path around the neighborhood to personally knock on doors and invite people to come to our service. I had not attended an Oasis service since before Christmas. Anyhow, at the end of Stinky Stream Lane (or at least that’s what this foot path ought to be called), 10 yr old Alex extended an invitation to a mom for her and her kids to come to our service. She seemingly declined, but as we turned and started to head back up the foot trail, the mom called out in Spanish “Sister Debra!” Would you actually believe I turned around and symbolically motioned, Who? Me? (like there’s anyone else in our small group named Debra!) I was so surprised that she even knew my name!!! Over and over for the next day or two I replayed the fact that she called me by name. There’s something very special about calling a person by name. Anyhow, before I digress more…. She asked if I would take her young son, about 4 years old, with me to church. I asked if she’d be coming later herself and she said yes. Wow, she trusted me to walk off with her young son! I asked his name and as best as I could understand, I think the first of his 5 part name was Franklin. So it was that I walked back down Stinky Stream Lane and around the rest of our traditional path, hand in hand with a dirty, scrawny, rumpled Franklin. And I don’t think I could’ve been happier. My story for the day could’ve ended here and I’d have been perfectly content….but there’s more.

Our Oasis service started with prayer and a lot of kid songs followed by a Bible story read by one of our staff and then a closing prayer and a blessing over the food- all per the usual. Then I helped dish out food for everyone as they waited patiently in line. When Franklin’s mom got to the front of the line, she asked me if I’d come pray with her and her son. Once again, I internally thought, Who? Me? Now? I suggested that she and her son eat their food while it was still a bit warm and when I’d finish dishing out food, I’d go pray with her. Truth is, my head was spinning and I was buying some time to think about this tremendous opportunity. I’ve never been personally asked to pray with/for a Salvadoran. I felt so humbled and blessed to have the opportunity! To be honest, I could hardly think straight. When the food was all given out I glanced over the room to find her, and didn’t need to look far since she was keeping an eye on me and flagging me down. I grabbed Glenys and asked if she’d like to join us. Franklin’s mom explained, as best as I could understand, that Franklin had been ill this past week, and is better now, but she was asking for me to pray for Franklin and her family. I told her I’d prefer to pray in English, and asked that she would simultaneously pray to God in Spanish. I assured her that God would hear and understand us both. So I sat Franklin up on a small wooden table to bring him up to our height- put an arm around him, as did his mom, and we prayed. Everyone once in awhile I’d pray a bit in Spanish just so mom would have some idea of who or what I was praying about at the moment. The prayer wasn’t long by Salvadoran standards, but for me it was simple, sincere, and amazing. When I said Amen, I looked up and found that her head was on Glenys' shoulder, tears on her cheeks. Then she came toward me and we hugged for a long moment and she continued to cry. I felt strongly led to ask her if she was a Christian….did she know Jesus Christ as her Savior…and did she have a relationship with Him? She said yes, and my spirit knew it was true. She said the same about Franklin and the rest of her family. I rarely ask such bold personal questions, and maybe I should do so more often, but this time I knew in my spirit that I had to ask. Franklin’s mom then asked me to come visit her and her family in her home. She said she wanted to talk and ask questions. She wanted me to see her “economic status”, and she wanted me to check on Franklin’s health and look into other health concerns. (Ah, remember the sudden thoughts about Oasis health screening two blogs ago?) I made it very clear to her that I would not be bringing money nor did I have money to loan or give to her. Additionally I told her that I was a volunteer, and received no money for the work I do; and actually pay money to stay and do what I do. She said she understood but still strongly urged me to come. I told her I had to gain permission from Don Benner, but I thought he would approve and I’d be allowed to come visit.

My head reeled as I drove back to the Home and as I sat at my kitchen table, trying to take it all in. I realized that the Lord was putting together the pieces before my eyes. Months ago my heart started a special beat for the poor of Oasis. Now, within one week, the Lord has given me “new eyes” for the Strawn Boys and a vision for health care in Oasis (that originated as a sudden late evening thought a week ago) through a lady who called me by name, entrusted to son to me, and courageously prayed to God with me. And I’m suddenly no longer feeling like a purposeless, passion less, person who lost their way. I’m a child of God Almighty that’s being shown, step by step, His direction. WOW!

It's a New Day! - God's Direction part IV

It was three Saturday nights ago, less than 24hr from when I’d had those strange ideas about medical screenings (see the previous blog entry). It was a rare evening where I didn’t have any responsibilities, and I could finally catch up on emails and my blog. And then I thought, “I could go and show a DVD movie to the Strawn Boys.” For some reason, I acted on that thought w/o giving it too much thought. I did however, stop long enough to realize that neither I (nor anyone else as far I could remember) had ever shown a movie in Strawn House before and I realized that I may be setting myself up for a wild night since Strawn House has 13 super high energy boys between the ages of 5-11. Luckily, my cousin Amanda had loaned me several kids movies on DVD that were in both English and Spanish. I pulled out “The Land before Time, part II” (I didn’t have part I) and headed toward Strawn.

All the kids here LOVE to watch DVDs more than just about anything else. So the boys were thrilled at the chance to see a movie….and even better yet, a movie all their own, not shared with a bunch of others in the cafeteria as usual. They didn’t seem to care that they would all have to sit on the floor and watch the movie from my 17” computer. And they weren’t even acting wild. A couple of minutes into the movie, a couple of the smaller ones were restless because they couldn’t see the movie over the bigger boys. I motioned for them to come sit on my lap. I was on a white plastic chair…one of those really cheap Wal-Mart kind that are used on lots of outdoor patios. They’re very very common here. Anyhow, the 2 boys settled in, one on each of my knees.

Part way thru the movie, I began to pray for the boys on my lap, putting my hand softly on their heads. Then, as I lovingly rubbed/scratched their backs, I intentionally prayed for each individual boy on the floor. Suddenly another one of “those” thoughts occurred to me. “I’d do anything to stay here and love on these boys.” I immediately wondered to myself, “Where in the world did that come from?” And even thought….Deb, you’re having a psychotic break down- You must be crazy! Yet, there was something in my heart that new it was true. The thought was so sure and clear. My heart knew I’d just received my “new eyes” from God. I sat there in utter amazement at the new passion that was seemingly and suddenly birthed within me for these boys. Something that wasn’t there just 1.5hr earlier. When the movie was over and I walked back to my apartment, I felt like my heart would burst with happiness and I felt like I could jump up and down. Back at my apartment I got on my knees and with tears flowing from my heart, I thanked God for His faithfulness to me and His direction. I knew he was calling me to stay here, at least for now. Unlike my usual self, I decided to sit, ponder, and enjoy this new passion. I kept it before God day and night. It was two days before I would even allow myself to say the thought out loud, and then very slowly to those closest to me here.

How about that? New eyes, new passion, new direction. Isn’t God good?

Now, just before I close this entry, I should tell you, that God also spoke some other directions into my heart. He spoke to me about being a better servant, about me being more faithful, and a couple of other things. I committed to God to make these changes, and wrote “it’s a New Day” on my calendar.

It was God - God's Direction part III

On Thursday, Valentines Day, Glenys arrived. Glenys is from Australia and was assigned to be in my apartment with me for her 2 weeks visit. I look forward to writing more about Glenys and her stay in the near future, but I don’t want to get too off the track right now. So, it just so happens that I was sitting near Britney when she asked Don for Glenys’ work assignment (which is coordinated by Britney). Among other things, Don mused that perhaps there were some health needs within the Oasis community…although she probably wouldn’t have enough time or language skills to be of much help at this time. I could hardly believe my ears! I thought Britney and I would fall off our chairs. We dared not look at each other, but we both stated our strong agreement with Don’s recommendation. I considered blurting out right then and there that I wanted to do this…but I had a big project sitting on my desk, and I really didn’t feel the timing was right. I decided to wait and pray for the Lord’s timing on this.

I had hoped and believed that Don would see the value of this line of work, but now I knew it for sure, and more than ever I felt like the “all of a sudden thought” I wrote about in my last blog was certainly from God. I wasn’t sure of when and how it would come together, but I did know for sure that He would put the plan together.

Was that God? - God's Direction part II

A couple of nights after Wendy prayed for “new eyes” (see the previous blog entry), I was tired and getting ready for bed. Suddenly, as if straight out of the night sky, a weird thought came to my mind. It was about me doing medical screenings at the Oasis community (a poor neighboring community where we do evangelism and dish out a meal three times a week). When I say “medical screening”, I mean thing such as taking people’s blood pressure or doing a finger stick to see if a person’s glucose (sugar) is high. I was thinking that maybe I could go with the Oasis team once a month or so and check blood pressures or whatever, and maybe do some simple teaching. The ideas continued to readily flow. Perhaps I could come up with some simple Spanish teachings about blood pressure and other common conditions. Or maybe I could find and show a simple Spanish DVD about blood pressure that could be watched as the folks wait in line for me to take their blood pressure. (These are readily available at home, I just don’t know where to find it here.) I thought it was strange for these sorts of very clear ideas to suddenly occur just as I was preparing for bed. And I wondered if I’d be allowed to add this new project among my current projects and responsibilities looming large on my desk.

“Was that God?” I thought to myself. Are these ideas from Him or me? I got on my knees and asked God to tell me if these ideas were from Him. I didn’t get an answer, but I felt a strange combination of peace, wonder and a bit of excitement of these new thoughts. Then, finally, I went to bed.

New Eyes- God's Direction Part I

I’d been literally praying multiple times a day since last Oct. for God’s direction. Although I didn’t doubt for a minute that God sent me here, I felt like I was floundering at times. Even though I was busy and I was accomplishing the projects I was assigned, I felt like I wasn’t quite fitting in here- somewhat lost and purposeless- round peg in a square hole- passion less. I’d wondered if I was doing what God wanted me to do. Had I missed the mark? And now, with my one year mark soon at hand, I felt more pressured and determined to seek out God. In the midst of this, additional trying and stressful situations were pressing in on me, even more than usual. I’d become quite discouraged, and for the first time in nearly a year, I began to seriously consider leaving in April when my year’s term was comleted.

I wasn’t alone with my concerns. The other missionaries had become serious prayer partners with me, and I had support back home from my family and mentors at church.

One night, Wendy (one of the missionaries here), came to check on me since she had noted my downcast eyes. We talked for a long time, and at the end we had a time of prayer. Not one of those prayers that are kind of fake nor the kind where you say essentially the same sort of things you usually say. No, this prayer came from our gut…it was very real and sincere. In the midst of Wendy’s prayer she prayed that God would give me “new eyes”. I would imagine that the phrase “new eyes” isn’t significant to you, nor was it particularly significant to Wendy…but to me it was HUGELY significant. You see, over the last few years I’d prayed those same words on several occasions. For example, when I was nearly in a panic to find my car keys, or my glasses, or X, Y, Z….I’d found that if I’d stop and sincerely ask God to please give me “new eyes” to find whatever was lost, then He came through. So when Wendy prayed for me to have “new eyes”, it struck me like a tree had fallen on me. What had I lost? Me! I was lost. I had lost my way! Eureka! That was it! I knew from then on that my prayers would be focused on asking God to give me “new eyes”….His eyes.

Chuch Today

On Sunday mornings, all of us missionaries go to church in the city since we don't have our church service on campus until 4:30pm. (However the kids have Sunday School in the AM). There's one church that we feel we're obligated to attend every once in awhile because it helps support the Home. It's a nice church, but we prefer another church that's very warm, friendly, and casual.

As usual, the service started at 9am, but unlike usual, the lady (who sits up front beside a table with a projector that shows the words onto a screen) wasn't there. Nor was the table or screen in place like usual. I nudged Britney and said "Oh man...this is going to be a long service if we don't have words." You see, the singing/worship service is always one hour long, followed by the rest of the service which is 1.5 to 2 hr long. One of the main things we like about this church is the singing...but put yourself if our shoes. If you didn't have words to the songs....not to mention that they're in a different language...well, you've got the picture. So I spent the first 10 min or so thinking about going to ask someone why there were no words (and really meaning "and would you please go do something about it now?!) Then I decided that they were probably quite aware there were no words, and culturally, I may be out of place by asking such a question. And more than that, I told myself to "get over it!" Isn't worship more than just singing words? Well, once I got my head on straight and my heart attitude in the right direction, I had an exceptional time of worship. I took delight in watcing others as they sincerely worshipped the One true God. Their faces seemed to glow. I watched as people lifted their arms in sincere praise to God. I myself began to worship Him in the midst of the singing. It really was an incredible experience.

I don't know about you, but every once in awhile I find that the Holy presence of God Almighty is almost tangible and palpable. The air is almost electric. There's a special sense. It's hard to describe, but you know what I'm talking about if you've experienced it. And this was definatley one of those Sundays. Even though I didn't have a clue as to what the pastor (a guest speaker) was saying, he directed us to some really powerful verses in the Bible. Verses that seemed to really fit what I've been struggling with this week. It wasn't hard to fill the rest of the service with reading other scriptures here and there.

When the service was over, some lady I'd never seen before rushed over to Britney and started to talk to her quite intently. Next thing I knew, they moved outside to continue their conversation. When I passed by Britney, she seemed to be OK but consumed by this lady. When Britney met us at the car, she said, "You're not going to believe this!" She went on to explain that she and Bobby had briefly met this lady once before at church. Then today, she ran across Britney in the restroom at church (that actaully has toilot paper!), and asked Britney if she can talk to her after church about her need "for social hours" (whatever that means.) Bottom line is that she explained that she'd just begun her 4th year into college (about 30 years old) as an English major. She has to put in a certain number of hours teaching Spanish to English speakers. She wants to teach us for free...for 2 years! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT! Now tell me....AINT GOD GOOD?! She said she'd even like to translate for classes or meetings that we need. Goodness! So, Brit is going to call her this week, and then her school director is going to call Britney and tell her the details and see exactly what we'd be getting into. But man , to me this sound like God coming thru for us again! I guess what you don't know is that just yesterday, I called our tutor and told her that we're sorry we had not resumed our lessons. We have had some financial concerns that had kept, and continue to keep us from being able to put money toward tutoring. She was very understanding. And obviously, so is God.

There are fish in the pool!

Starting in Jan, we've started a whole bunch of activites for the kids. I'm only gonna talk about one of them now. The last Sat of every month, we have a whole Home outing (yep, even the babies!) Last month while most of you were shivering cold, we all loaded (squished would be more like it) onto a school bus and we headed off for Ichamichen (makes me want to itch just by looking at the word!) It's an Indian name. Ichamichen is a nice park that has several "pools. " Do any of you remember the TV show, Beverly Hillbillies? Well, they had a concrete pond. These "pools" were actually somewhat rundown concrete ponds...including small nibbling fish. There were very shallow wading pools, middle depth pools, and adult areas. There was even a curling and twisting water slide for those who gathered their courage. The teenagers had a blast with the slide and insisted that we do this with them over and over and over. Our cook, Alma, who's built like me and maybe even a little more rotund, finally was convinced to go down the slide. What we didn't know is that just about 15ft short of the end, she got stuck. There was very little water to help you slide well, and she was wearing denim. You guessed it, around the corner came a big group of girls, sitting one in front of the other like a train. I watched the whole scene unveil, and it was hysterical. The train came to a halt, much like dominoes falling on one another. But at least it created enough umph to get Alma going again, and they all followed behind her, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop plop into the water one after the other. They all came up laughing, even Alma. I think the only time the kids sat still was for a picnic style lunch.

Speaking of the slide, I've got to tell you the best part of my day. I'd overheard the younger boys (whom I adore) say they were scared of the water slide. And understandably so! After all it was pretty big, fairly tall, and the water was deep when you dropped off the end of the slide. Much to my surprsie, toward the end of the day, one young tyke named Diego asked if I'd take him on the slide. Wow! I was honored that he'd trust me so much! After getting permission, we went up the stairs to the slide. I sat him on my lap and held onto him tightly. Oh my gosh...you should've heard him squeel with delight as we zipped around the corners. He squeeled all the way down. And when we plopped into the water at the end, he didn't panic. I just held him tightly until we popped up on top of the water, and once he shook the water off, he was grinning from ear to ear. Apparently, the other boys were watching. 2 other young boys approached me and asked me to take them on the slide. One on one knee, the other on the other knee. Double the squeeles all the way down! So much fun! And I also was able to convince some of the young girls to jump off the side of the pool into my arms, much like my dad did for me when I was a little kid. As a kid, I just knew it was fun. I didn't realize back then that it was also about trust. But I sure know it now, and feel so humbled to know that I'm gaining their trust.

We left around 4pm, and most of the heads were nodding off asleep in the bus within 30 min. To our great pleasure and surprise, 2 of our Board of Directors (who had been in meetings earlier that day) were able to join us near the end of our fun day and then treated us to dinner in Olaquilta for papusas. We ate 300 papusas! (Which is a very inexpensive traditional stuffed tortilla dish)! It really was a blast, and the kids are still talking about the day.

2 by 2, and into the ark!

Dinner is at 5:30pm, and we're usually out of the dining room 45-60 min later. They have free time until 7pm, except on weekends where it's extended a bit longer.

On one weekend evening not long ago, just on a whim, I decided to go read my one and only Spanish storybook to some kids. I hadn't read it to them since last October. It's in Spanish, and on my level....beginners. It's about an elephant that doesn't like the rain, and is asked to help build an arc. He decided anthing is better than getting wet, so he helps Noah.

My first stop was with the 4-7 yr old girls in Griffin House. We all sat on the bottom part of a very tiny metal bunk bed, and I read them the story. At the end of the story, I got a brainstorm. I had them line up in their room, the way the animals did....2 by 2. I had them hold hands and they followed me as we made circles are the room. "Oh no, it's beginning to rain!" I shouted, "Get in the ark!", as I pointed back to the bottom bunk. They squeeled with delight and jumped into the make believe ark. "Who closed the door?" I asked (to see if they paid attention to the story). "Dios!" they declared (which is God in English). So, I pretended to close the door. Then I started banging on the top bunk, telling them that it was raining a lot. They squeeled even louder in glee. Then the rain slowed down, then stopped, and they were allowed out ....2 by 2 of course. Then they said, "Let's do it again!" So we did.

Then I repeated this pattern with the 4-7 yr old Griffin House boys. They had as much fun as the girls.

Then I went down to the Strawn House which houses a bunch of middle school boys. Some of them dropped out of the dodge ball game long enough to listen to the story. Then I joined them in a couple of games of dodge ball. Man, I don't move and swerve as well as I used to. But I had a ton of fun that night and look forward to doing it again in the near future.

Trumpet lessons

Imagine the sound of a very loud squaking goose along with an equally loud car crash, and that will bring you close to thinking about how bad I sound on trumpet right now. I haven't played the trumpet seriously since 19......something. To be honest, I think it's been almost 20 years (since that's when I graduated from college in 1988...yikes!)

Anyhow, a guy named Tom came with a team of volunteers here in December to help get everything really for Christmas. Tom is a professional musician, and the trumpet is favorite instrument....as evidenced by his trumpet being his carry on. He was here, there, and everywhere tooting his horn. He even started teaching a couple of the middle school aged boys how to play it. Unfortunately, he caught on from my questions and comments about his trumpet, that I too know how to play. And he found out that the Benners had 2 donated student level trumpets in fair condition in their house. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

By the time Tom left, he had kids begging me to promise that I would continue trumpet lessons with them when I returned from my Christmas break. So...let the noise begin.

I was resistant to bringing my trumpet back here with me, but I did bring my mouthpiece and my mute (didn't want anyone to here just how bad I am when I practice occasionally in my apartment). And a couple of weeks ago, I began taking the 2 trumpets out to the kids for about 1 hr at a time, twice a week, for them to learn how to make a sound thru the trumpet. Starting next week, I'm hoping to begin somewhat formal classes (one on one) twice a week . MondaysI'll have from 4:14-5:15pm (after their homework is done) devoted to teaching young gals (15 min each). And likewise for 4 young guys on Fridays. I have no idea what I'm doing or how to go about doing it...but I'll do whatever I can. It's a good experience for them, and it'll hopefully end up being fun for us both. And who knows....the Lord may have some seeds of musical talent in these kids. I know I'm grateful for the opportunity that I had to learn (and love) music, so I'll do what I can to pass on the opportunity.

Tom is in the top picture, and 2 of my prized monkeys....uh...I mean students....are in the other picture. I'll try to get a pic of me giving lessons with the kids on a future blog entry, but right now I don't have any pictures of this.

My dog (kind of)....Rex

Back in Oct or Nov I kind of adopted a dog. The concrete security wall that surrounds my apartment has a cut out window with steel bars. One day a street dog, a German Shepherd, got up on his hind legs so that he could see in the "window", then he rested his chin on the concrete "window sill", cocked his head a little to the side, and his eyes seemed to say "Are you friendly? I need soome food please."

Now I should make you aware that I've never been fond of dogs. And I never had a pet of my own until I was almost 30 years old. So, a dog getting through to my hard heart is a rarity. But there was something about him....maybe I identified with him a little re: looking for friends in new places. Anyhow, I started to collect dog scraps from all the kids after our meals. The kids must eat everything on their plate, so there's no much in the way of scraps except when we have chicken or similar. And I know chicken bones are recommended for dogs, but if I don't give him the bones myself, he's just going to join the other dogs as they pull them out of our big metal trash dumpster. So everynight I tried to give him something to eat. I put out a chicken bone, and he gently takes it from my hande. He'd eat almost anything (except peanut butter). Given the choice btw a plain, dry, flat tortilla verses a tortilla that has a small smear of peanut butter on it, I think he'd rather bury the peanut butter tortilla than to eat it. It's amazing how I looked forward to him every evening, even though I knew we'd probably never see other than through the window. And I never saw him during the day, but he learned my schedule, and he was near my window around 6pm every night patiently waiting for me.

Crazily, I kind of worried about him when I went home for Christmas, being concerned that maybe I'd caused him to loose out on his turf where he dined before he met me. And sure enough, when I returned back here, I didn't see him for the first few days, but then he returned. I was so glad to see him that I decided to give him a name....Rex. One child here asked if he comes to his name. I said said....but I think he'd come even if I called him Maria. I can't explain it, but he brings me a strange sense of comfort and enjoy him as a part of my daily life.

Transition Day Friday Jan 11, 2008

I'm not overly fond of early mornings. I figure if God wanted people up really early, then He'd have the sun rise earlier to provide light. That's one reason why I was glad I didn't need to leave until 11am from home to return to El Salvador. I'd cried a decent amt during the night- enough that my cat didn't want to sleep with me. Kim was off from work and was going to take me to the airport in Dulles (Washington DC), but kind of at the last min mom joined us too. To be honest, I'm really glad she did. Anyhow, I'd put my luggage in the living room and I was just looking around the house one more time. That's when it hit me, in my bedroom. I leaned forward, hands on my knees, and crying harder than I can remember. I'm pretty much a silent crier, but my mom still found me, walked in and embraced me. My chest was heaving hard as I sobbed. It felt like I would never catch my breath and and tears would never end. This was one of those cried that comes from deep within. I caught sight of Kim in the corner of my eye and waved her towards me. I figured I might as well make it a three-some and soak her too. I don't know how long we cried together...but it seemed like a long time. I don't know how mom got it together to pray over us, but she did. I can never speak when I'm crying.

I bought the house in Jan 15 2001, knowing I would get married and we'd live there the following June. So many emotions tied up in this house! Somehow, I said one last good bye to my home (not just a house), and my cat, and pulled the door shut. As mom pulled out the driveway, she turned on the radio. Want to guess what song was playing? "Friends" by Michael W Smith. Thankfully that song was nearly over. I already felt like I was dehydrated from crying. We made good time getting to the airport. I made some last min changes from my luggage into my carry on to make sure my luggage wasn't too heavy. Per my request, mom and Kim dropped me off at the curb side. Kim helped me get my luggage inside to the correct airline counter, then once last set of goodbyes to them both. I just couldn't do another big scene. I was already exhausted. So, finally, I had all the good-byes behind me and now I could focus on what was ahead. My luggage was allowed to weigh 50 lbs. One weighed 49.6lb and other 50.0, and my bags were put on the conveyer belt and sent on their way. However, when I went through security, my 2 cans of Price Smart size roast beef and 2 cans of turkey (that I had only just moved out of my big suitcase)were frowned upon. Although the cans are clearly sealed like all cans are, they said that there was liquid inside the can. I pleaded and told them my plight of yucky food in the orphanage. Of course, the more they shook the cans, the more they heard the swish of liquid. They determined that the roast beef definitely had more than the approved amt of ounces of liquid, and therefore those cans were thrown in the trash. I guess at least I got to keep my turkey, but I wasn't happy. Oh well, worse things could happen.

I had time to use the last remaining minutes of my USA pre-paid cell phone, so I called mom/Kim and my sister to let them know I was at my gate and all looked well. Fortunately, not only does this airline, TACA, have the least expensive flight to El Salvador, but it's also a direct flight, which is wonderful! The ride itself is only 4.5hr long, but it seemed longer this time. I had an isle seat and there was a 9 month old and his mom just across the isle. I held him at times to give his mom a break. Toward the end of the flight, I found out that his mom was a dentist that lives in San Salvador, and she attends the same church the Benners and I attend. How cool is that. You can be sure I got her card!

Wendy picked me up at the airport, 6:30pm in El Salvador. She updated me on things as we drove back to the Home. I learned that a team of 19 from her Univ. of Texas had just left earlier that AM. And we currently had 3 ladies, student teachers, living in the apt. above me, and another team of 2 other ladies who were there to help do whatever. I was very happy when we finally drove in the gates of the Home. The kids were up the hill in the church for their usual Friday PM devotions. That gave me enough time to call home and let all know that I was fine. The kids charged down the hill and greeted me very warmly....of course the hugs were immediately followed by "Where's Britney and Bobby?" (who had also been on Christmas vacation). They don't get that Ohio and Va aren't next to each other and we don't do absolutely everything together, although it seems that way to them.

I walked into my apartment, not knowing what to expect. I knew I had left it clean. I was hoping for not too much mold since it was dry season and since I'd left my windows open and ceiling fans running to circulate the air. But I stopped dead in my tracks when I entered my apart. The fans were off. A maintenance worker had entered before Christmas to get something, and turned off the fans. It was hard to tell in the dim lights how much of the thick layers on everything were mold and how much were dirt.

The next AM I got a better look at things. Thankfully, it seemed the highest percentage of yuck was dirt, and a LOT of it. Unfortunately, there's a well used dirt road literally right beside my apt., the same side where I keep my windows open. And noramally the flow of air from the fans keeps a good portion of the dirt out. Now, however, not only was the dirt in, but it was into everything. You see, I had opened every single drawer, closet, dresser, end table, kitchen cabinet, desk, etc. I had a layer of yuck in absolutely every possible nook and cranny. My extra bedroom, not used for anything much except storage since I have no closets, had a huge amt of dirt on the floor (see the pic). I could hardly believe the amt! My couch and cushiony chairs were full of it too. I don't really know what to do about this. Beating them will only stir it up and have it land right back where it started. (Note the writing on the arm of the chair)

Oh well, things are now fairly well cleaned up, and I'm glad to be back into some sort of routine.

SPECIAL MEMORIES - HOLIDAYS 2007

****DISCLAIMER******Reading the following blog entry could cause severe boredom or, in some causes, injuries to your face as you fall face first fast asleep onto your keyboard. It may also cause severe eye fatigue because it’s probably the longest blog ever written in modern history. You may even need a day off from work just to get through it all. However, there are some cute pictures.

To be honest, this blog entry is primarily intended to help me remember how blessed I was over the holidays, and to allow me to have a place where I can come again and again to sit and soak in the memories/blessings. And secondly, it’s intended to let some folks know how meaningful they are in my life. It may also give some of you more insights into my character and what things are important to my heart (i.e. my nephews and niece).

Dec 20, 2007-Jan 11, 2008
(Just fyi... "my kids" are nephews Forrest- 7yr old, and Joshua- 5 yr old, and niece Haley- 4 yr old)

SPECIAL MEMORIES

*Falling into my mom’s and Kim’s arms for a wonderful hug at the airport, tears of relief and happiness streaming down my cheeks. There’s just something special about mom hugs.
Being able to wish my mom a happy birthday on the stroke after midnight as we dined at an IHOP on the way from the Dulles airport to Richmond. After all, it was technically Dec 21st, her birthday.

*Meeting with CJ and Susan, my mentors, who encourage and guide me.

*Eating crab legs like there was no tomorrow with my family at a restaurant for mom’s birthday. And Forrest, (7 yr old nephew), with much seriousness saying out of the blue, “DebDeb, do you want a husband?” (Like he had one in his pocket!) After asking my age and hearing that I am 41 years old, he could only manage an “OHHHHHH!” and he didn’t broach the subject again.

*Getting together at Cerena’s house to share precious minutes with good friends.

*Joyously hugging so many friends at my home church. They are such a support to me.

*Walking up to a long time friend at church to say hello and giving him a hug….and again, unexpectedly and suddenly, I started to cry quietly. I guess I didn’t realize how much I missed my friends and how much they mean to me.

*Making a Ginger Bread House with Forrest and Joshua…our first one.

*Playing with Haley, my 4yr old niece, at the park on Christmas Eve afternoon. We played imaginary McDonalds drive-thru for nearly an hour. She loved to be the employee who worked the cash register at the drive thru line and I kept finding reasons to return for more food (grandma wanted chicken nuggets, then g’pa wanted a hamburger, etc.)

*Wapping last min. gifts with my sister Julie at her house on Christmas Eve.

* Helping Tammy, my sister-in-law, set out Christmas on Christmas Eve for the boys.


*Forrest asked if I’d sleep with him in his twin bed on Christmas Eve. I told him I didn’t know if there was enough room, however, I promised him that if there was any room when it was time for me to go to bed, then I'd join him. Sure enough, I found Forrest sound asleep and flat as a board on the far side of his bed. Plenty of room for me. That’s love for his Aunt DebDeb…and I was touched. But I still want to know is how did his bony little rear end know when I got into bed, and then somehow manage to scoot itself right over to me so that he could snuggle? I couldn’t have been happier.

*The traditional Christmas breakfast with all my family at my mom’s house, followed by a few minutes of insanity as the kids tore through their Christmas gifts. This picutre is of Haley with one of her favorite gifts....one from g'pa and g'ma...a Barbie electric guitar. And the hat is Haley's gift to her mom.






*My favorite Christmas gift: a pillow case with all the kids hand prints outlined with special fabric paint, and this poem created by Tammy: “As you lay upon this pillow tonight…remember these hands that hug you tight.” This gift and poem was created by Tammy.

*Town-house hunting with Kim. Honest, I really enjoyed being able to spend time with her doing this.









*Spending time with my sister Julie as we (mostly she) made a wonderful ham casserole, including egg noodles that we made from scratch.





*Finding an empathetic manager at Staples that allowed me to trade in my non-working digital camera for a new upgraded model, at no additional cost!



*The annual informal Christmas gathering at my Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Edwards house. I love being able to catch up with so many people at once. Their hospitality/work allows for a wonderful family tradition and many hugs and stories. Last year at this same event, Mary (my closest cousin), announced that she was finally pregnant. I was thrilled then, but even more thrilled now as I got to see handsome 6 mo old baby Isaiah, now nearly 6 months old. And I also got to see Joyce’s (my cousin- Mary’s sister) 2 month old beautiful baby girl, Sabella. Quite a joyous occasion. Their pictures now grace my wall.



*Spending New Years Eve with special friends….and having a special time of sharing and prayer with those friends in the first minutes of the New Year.







* Spending time with my small group on New Years Day as we watched football, played games and passed around our newest (and most handsome) member, baby Henry James, born 10-14-07. He snuggled right up to me and fell asleep in my arms. How precious! His magnet picture is on my frig.




*Wed Jan 2nd… a day with all my kids. We started our day at a local park….but it was quite cold and windy, and few flakes of snow were falling. Joshua declared he’d had enough and headed for the car….the rest of us followed. Happened to pass Dad driving down the rode, so we flagged him down and asked him to join us for bowling. Julie had already agreed to join us. We had so much fun bowling! It was all Haley could do to get the ball down the lane. For a change I actually broke 100…thanks to the railings (created for kids) that kept the ball from going into the gutters. Then we all did Pizza Hut. Then I took the kids to see Alvin and the Chipmunks at the local theater. Then we stopped so I could see and visit where my sister Heidi works (an outdoors sporting goods store). Then we headed home….Aunt DebDeb was pooped and ready to return the kids to their rightful owners.

*Kim’s homemade meatloaf and mashed potatoes…..oh my gosh! Can’t dwell on this…..got to move on!

*Visit with Sweet Pea… (my pet name for a wonderful, sweet, kind, prayer warrior that’s really named Emma). I so value her friendship.

*Eating BBQ and sharing my heart with my good friend Cerena. She has a knack for listening and encouraging. She does my heart good.

*Visiting with Bob Wilton. The next time I see him I’m looking forward to a big hug.

*Being received so warmly by people who still work at some of my previous places of employment.

*Sharing a Coke and stories with Gail and Kim at a McDonalds.

*Spending time with Kim and my brother and his family at his house as we watched Virginia Tech play in the Orange Bowl. Better yet….watching Virginia Tech get beat and eating Tammy’s good chili.

*Snuggling with my boys on their bottom bunk bed as Forrest read the bedtime story, “There are Monsters Everywhere”. (Notice that Joshus is "holding" the flashlight.) This absolutely ranked in my top 5 most valued memories.

*Visiting with Evelyn (a lady Kim and I consider to be our grandmother) in her house. We have so many wonderful memories with her as our neighbor. But times moves on, and she is now selling her house and Kim is moving too.

*Time with Kim….every minute of time to talk and share our lives face to face was an extreme gift. Tears flowed freely….and still do as I remember those precious moments.

*One particular night….a special night…I was sitting in my usual spot on the recliner couch….Kim on her usual spot on the other end. The Christmas tree seemed particularly pretty, each ornament a memory, and its lights reflecting off the window beside it. From the other window, I could see my small outdoor Christmas tree with white lights . I'm fond of that tree. My Christmas Village collection was in it's normal spot. (Kim put out all the Christmas decorations alone this year.) Tripp, my cat that I love dearly, was purring in my lap. All was right with my world for those few precious, secure-feeling moments. I tried hard to soaked it all in and intentionally remember the moment, taking mental pictures, although my eyes stung with tears. I knew my house would soon be empty of our things and renters would fill our spots. My heart ached. I knew this was a special moment…probably my most precious moment…and I knew it would never be the same again.

*Time to laugh and share with Jen and Jamie in their new home. What a blessing they are to me!
**********Warning…this is extra long. You may want to take a break before continuing. OK, here goes...I will remember Sunday Jan 6th for a long time to come…and the word “Embrace” will be attached to that memory. I was at my home church, West End Assembly of God, and Pastor John was most of the way through praying for those with urgent needs, medical needs, general congrational needs, and we were praying for a family (standing up front) who were about to leave for the mission field. Then, Pastor John uncharacteristically suddenly stopped in the middle of the prayer and called out my name. He said he was remiss at not asking me to come up front for prayer with the others, but now asked me to do so. He asked elders, deacons, etc to encircle me for prayer. Oh my…I’ve never heard so many people gather around me to pray. I knew my sister-like friend Vanessa was on one side, Fred, a beloved pastor was on the other, and mentor Susan was near by.…but there were so many other voices all calling out to Our Lord on my behalf. It was an amazing and humbling experience that I will cherish for a very long time. I felt like I was hugged by God Himself. As if that wasn’t enough…almost at the end of the church service, I was tapped on the shoulder and asked to step outside into the hallway because someone wanted to see me. There was a vaguely familiar face of a Latin looking lady a little younger than myself. She said she heard that there was someone heading to her home country of El Salvador, and she wanted to meet that person. But what we didn’t know until we were face-to-face was that we had met years ago here church. I had befriended her, a stranger, several years ago as I found her crying in the hallway before an evening service. I’d always been sorry I hadn’t kept up much with her after that encounter. And now, much to our surprise, we were together again. How cool! Another embrace. I had even become somewhat unaware of the floods of people passing by us in the hallway as the service had ended. Then, I realized there was a line…literally….of people waiting to say hello and embrace for a moment. A line! Can you imagine that! I was astounded to say the least. One glorious embrace after another. And at the very end of the line, dear friends Su and Denny were there…patiently waiting… to share a moment and an amazing time of prayer. What a send off…what an embrace…what a gift. Definitely in my top 5.

*Pot Roast with potatoes, onions and carrots from the crock pot…whew wee…need I say more?

*Raking leaves all day with my dad, exchanging thoughts as we worked. I love spending time outdoors with my dad.

*I only spent 5 years as a Nurse Manager at Home Care Connection, but somehow the staff during that time really molded together and formed fast bonds that to this day are still in existence. I’m crazy about every one of them! On Monday 1/7/08, 15 people (13 previous co-workers plus 2 others) showed up at our favorite Mexican hang out to reconnect, laugh, tell stories, and hug. We had a great time together.

*Tuesday 1/8/08 Forrest had his first ever basketball game. He made one point making a foul shot. Go Tigers! Ironically, my very first rec. basketball team, like Forrest's, wore orange, and my # (like his) was also #13. After the game I had to say goodbye to Forrest and my brother. I was glad to get that past me. And I was terribly sad to know that I wouldn’t get a change to see any of Joshua’s wresting matches or any more of Forrest’s games. They had become so accustomed to me always being there. When people talk about missionaries making sacrifices….these are the sort of things I think of.

*A practical gift from God. “ Keens” is the name brand of a type of rugged sandal. They’re very expensive (about $95), known for their high quality, durability, and currently out of season since it’s winter. I’d purchased something similar about 8 months ago and found that it was perfect for the work I was doing and perfect for the climate. Unfortunately, they were again falling apart (they were not Keens) and I’d already had them sewn up twice. I’d been looking for Keens the entire time I was at home, and even looked for used Keen’s online. Just 3 days before I was to leave, I walked into a store that I normally avoid due to high prices, and there they were. The exact correct size, style and color of Keens that I wanted, on sale for ½ off! Now that’s a gift from God. I’m wearing them right now and I wear them every day.

*Eating pancakes and sharing stories with my new but dear friend Linda Crampton.

*An evening of wine, cheese, crackers, good conversation, good friends, good memories.

*A quick but special lunch with my sister Julie and the local Prince George County hang out.

*One last haircut given to me free of charge by a good friend before I returned to the tropical climate of El Salvador.

*A steak dinner at Topekas with 2 close friends…just trying to squeeze every possible minute out of my last hours at home….and savoring every bit of it.

*On my last full day at home, I stayed at home packing. Trying to decide what would stay and what would go, and what things could I box up for the impending move. But most of all, I wanted to free up my last night so that I could enjoy my time with my best friend, my cat, and house. I knew it would be the last time I’d ever enjoy it like this again. To say it was painful and emotional isn’t even close. The tears that are flowing freely down my cheeks at this very moment attest to that fact.

Thank you to all my family and friends who make my life so special. And a big thanks to God Himself, who loves me extravagantly.