New school woes

It's amazing that I can go from a taco in the morning to crumbs and tears in the afternoon.
Let me explain. Yesterday morning I was journaling that somehow I felt very loved. I can't exactly explain it, but I just felt like I was warmly being hugged and loved. It reminded me of a taco I ate the previous day. You see, a taco here is not like a taco in the USA. It's a flat tortilla that gets a tiny bit of stuff (maybe meat and/or beans?) put on it, then it's rolled up to the diameter of my thumb and about 6" long. Anyhow, I felt like a taco...rolled up in love as I sat on my bed yesterday morning. As you may have guessed, the day went downhill quickly. Shortly after starting class, my teacher told me she wanted to "talk" to me. She revealed with tears in her eyes that she was sorry she had not taught me well and that I was not satisfied. I was stunned. She went on to say that the Director had shard my "confidential" weekly evaluation with her and completely raked her over the coals for not doing a good job. I was flabbergasted! Now here's the truth: I was quite frustrated with her teaching style. It's been almost entirely lecture and readings from my textbook. As I've looked around and as I've listened to other students, there are lots of other creative techniques being used by teachers. In retrospect, I wish I had simply asked her to change it up a bit. I guess I thought she was the teacher with years of experience, she knew best, and I kept thinking maybe things would change. But instead, I scored her as "poor" in the area of creativity, and "fair" in the area of having a plan for each week. She's quite disorganized and seems to fly by the seat of her pants.
What I've just learned is that the Director put a good bit of pressure on her in the very beginning by telling her that everything must go very well with me so that future missionaries from my organization, HIS, will come to this school. Therefore, the poor review got blown from a mole hill into a mountain.
I felt terrible that her trust and friendship with me was really screwed up, and our class time yesterday felt a bit strained. To make things worse, I found out at the end of the day, that she called the director and said she would not be coming to work next week. I don't know if it's related to all the drama of yesterday, or if something unrelated has happened. I hope the later. I know her well enough to know that a week w/o pay would be a true hardship. But I left school yesterday with a heavy heart and additionally, having done some reviewing for my test on Tues, I felt like I hadn't learned anything. Additionally, I felt like I may not ever be able to write things on the evaluation w/o something similar happening. And I'm concerned that all future teachers will also be put under pressure.
I went home, laid on my bed and cried. Really cried. All I could repeatedly think was, "this is too hard God...I want to go home....I can't do this." I eventually fell asleep and was awoken about 30 min later in time for dinner. Later in the evening I thought, how in the world did I go from feeling like a taco in the morning to feeling like I was crushed into crumbs and tears in the afternoon? The answer? I'm human, to start with. And I let my shield down and allowed Satan to bring in feelings of doubt, etc. The good news...God is still (and always has been) in control. He understands and He'll repair the relationship bridges that have been damaged. Ultimately, He'll take care of everything. His track record with me is perfect. I know He called me here, and I'm not leaving unless He tells me to.
So, on Monday I will get a new teacher. She'll review more with me for my exam on Tues. Then I'll start Grade B after my exam on Tues. I already know this new teacher, Dena. She's excellent. And I already know she's been promised to someone else the following week. But I have confidence God will put me with just the right teacher when the time comes.
Fortunately, the little group of students that live on the roof of out house have become like a little family unit. And they picked up my spirits. After dinner we found a small store that had microwave bags of popcorn (about 70 cents per bag. We bought 2 bags and sodas. We sat together on Ginny and Kevin's bed and watched a DVD movie on the computer. Kind of like what I enjoyed doing at home, sitting together with friends, watching a movie, talking, etc.
Today is a new day and I'm feeling better about things. And I guess I better get to studying pretty soon!